I – Why?

This post might seem like it contains immoderate usage of the word I which might make the sentences look insensible and with grammatical errors but it is not. All grammar and spelling mistakes found in this article can be blamed on the name of this movie.

So I was bored one night and decided to so something entertaining. And that brilliant decision of entertaining myself was watching I. How awesome right? Even after all those forewarning and cautionary advice, I went to watch I one night expecting it to be shitty as hell. I was actually surprised to find it even shittier. All through the movie the only thought I had in my mind was ‘It took 3 years to make this shit? 3 YEARS?!’ My house was constructed in 6 months with just a fraction of its budget and just staring at its walls looks more interesting to me than spending 3 hours (?!) to watch this excuse of a grandeur.

I’m not sure what shankar was smoking when he wrote this screenplay. I know he is capable of writing more gripping screenplay but this looks like some school kids’ project with unlimited supply of money. There is absolutely nothing in the story that would hold the audience for even 5 minutes together. I’m all for freedom of expression but when people decide to make use of the money, time, resources and fame they have in such lousy writing, I’m not sure what to believe in any more. I don’t even know where to begin in describing this reckless movie narcissistically named as I. Shankar can probably start a counselling center to help people on how to waste all the luxury and awesome resources they have.

One guy raises from the slums to become the #1 model overnight. When I say overnight, I mean literally overnight. When I say literally, I mean literally literally. All it takes is a makeover from a seductive stylist and a lie from a bimboed up model. Boom! Top model with offers from all brands. Overnight obamas are bound to have enemies right? You might have already guessed 2 villains and add 2 more for no particular reason. And now you have a group of 4 (1 will be added later when the directorial masterpiece and completely unpredictable (sarcasm) twist is revealed) villains who create a brilliant plan of importing a god-knows-what virus and injecting it to the guy who shattered all their dreams. After the guy finds out (finds out is a little too intelligent. As usual the villains narrate all their plan to him) the people responsible for his deformation, he takes revenge on everyone by, wait for it, deforming everyone! Woah! Totally unexpected. Also hey, looks like I have a little more money. And I have quite a few deformed people and woman in this movie. I’ll just include santhanam in a few unnecessary scenes to come and make fun of everyone. I’m sure audience will enjoy it.

Everyone finds something offensive nowadays. Being offended is the new cool. I’m not going to list the groups of people offended by the movie now. Movies have been offensive before. There has been offensive humour in movies which was actually funny. Goundamani probably offended every single tamil speaking human being in this world but people still rate him as one of the best. Shankar doesn’t know to handle offensive humour then why keep using it in every single movie of his? When it comes to making fun of physical deformation and lgbt people, I can’t think of even a single tamil movie that has handled it perfectly. And from his history. Shankar is definitely incapable of handling it.

However good the makeup, graphics, music and cinematography is, with such reprehensive screenplay, a movie will never work out. Also I’m not sure people are able to appreciate Vikram’s acting so much when everyone he is sharing the screen with, in every single frame, acts like Kristen Stewart. What I found impressive with Vikram is how he handled even exaggerated expressions without annoying the audience. Few scenes expected him to overact which could not have been handled by anyone else this well.

Shankar should be appreciated for one thing nevertheless. He has put in immense research in introducing a few new viruses and chemical formulas to the tamil film industry. Excellent groundwork by his assistants. Not sure how many foreign trips and intellectual discussions with various scientists it took to come up with such brilliant concepts but laudable effort regardless for everything. With obvious product placements in almost all scenes, unsure characterisation, puke-worthy homour, totally predictable story, cliched scenes, very few tolerable scenes and a waste of 120 rupees, I can quite confidently say that my sunday night was totally ruined. How long can one keep staring at Amy Jackson?

But still. 3 YEARS???!!!

[rating:4]